Those of you who follow me on Instagram, Twitter, or Dayre, would have seen this video of Noah that I posted yesterday.
Every morning, when Noah wakes up, he looks over to his right, where C is normally sleeping. If C isn’t there on the bed, Noah will sit up, and look at our study table, to check if C is seated there doing his work.
On weekends, C is usually in bed next to him, so Noah will tickle him to wake him up, and gives C his sunniest smile when he opens his eyes. If he’s working at the desk, Noah turns and smiles at me, whispers, “Daddy!”, then climbs off the bed to say hi to him. My heart melts whenever it happens, no matter how many times I’ve seen it, because I love watching them together.
On weekdays, however, this happens:
Noah looks around for C, realises he’s not in the room, and says, “Daddy dearest went to work already.” Previously, he used to ask me for daddy, so I would tell him that C went to work already, and now, he utters the line that he has heard umpteen times, as though reminding himself of the reason that C isn’t at home that day.
It breaks my heart to watch him look around for C, then tell himself that C is at work, and I am so very thankful that I get to be the one staying home with Noah. When C has to do some work at home in the evenings or on weekends, Noah goes up to him and begs, “Daddy, don’t work. Daddy, stop working now. Daddy, put laptop down! Daddy, play!” because he wants C to play with him. It’s definitely harder for C to complete his work at home, now that Noah can vocalise his requests for C to spend time with him, and I know that if I were back at work, I wouldn’t be able to cope.
I’m thankful for C, who works so hard, just so that I can get to stay home with Noah. It’s definitely a sacrifice on his part, although he doesn’t seem to think so, because he enjoys what he does, but I know that I would be a lot more resentful if the roles were reversed. To me, he’s sacrificing his time with Noah, and that is something that I will struggle with, if I were the one working instead. Of course, I do wish they can spend as much with each other as they did in Adelaide, but I know that this is probably just a really busy period for C, and he’ll have more time for Noah soon.
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