The twins are growing up, and demanding more of my attention these days, which means N has to entertain himself quite often. He isn’t used to it, and definitely prefers someone to play with him, so recently, he’s been taking to telling me things like, “Mummy, I want to spend some time with you.” and “Can you spend time with me now please, Mummy?”
Oh the guilt. I can’t win either way, because when I leave the babies alone or with my helper, they start wailing pitifully, and my heart breaks again. I always feel like I’m shortchanging SOMEONE, be it N, Didi, or Meimei, but I guess that’s how all parents with more than one kid feel. Just gotta deal with it, and teach the kids to deal with it too, right?
Anyway, after I had read N his bedtime story, I lay beside him in bed for a little chat.
Me: N, do you ever wish that you didn’t have Didi and Meimei? N: No! Me: Really? Not even for a short while? Because before Mummy gave birth to them, I spent all my time with you, but now you have to share me with them. N: It’s okay. I don’t mind. Me: How about when they bully you? Sometimes they hit you, right? N: It’s okay. Me: Really? Is it because they’re young and don’t know better? They don’t mean to hurt you, right? N: Yeah, it’s okay. I like them. Me: Awww… and they love you, right? They love their KorKor, you know? They’re always trying to follow you around, and they love watching you do things. You’re like their hero! N: *smiles shyly* Ya, they love me. Me: That’s good. I hope you’ll set a good example for them! They’ll copy everything you do, you know? N: I know.
When did my baby boy grow up and become so mature? Yes, he does get upset when I tell him that I can’t spend time with him because I have to look after the babies, but I’m glad that he seems to genuinely love them despite them taking up so much of my time. Ultimately, I think his siblings are the best gift that we’ve given him, and I hope that they will always be close, and love each other.
N playing with his siblings
N reading to his siblings one morning
Throwback video of my affectionate firstborn when he was 3. I’ve re-watched this at least ten times recently!