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With All My Love… #11

My dearest, dearest baby boy,

You turn two today, and even though I know you’re no longer a baby, to me, you’ll always be MY baby. I love hugging and kissing you, and I’ve been doing a lot of both recently, because I know that the day will come when you won’t be so free with your hugs and kisses anymore. I really hope it won’t be soon though! 

You keep Daddy (or ‘Dearest’, as you like to call him now) and I very busy, with all your funny antics and repeated requests to ‘play’ and ‘read’. You’ve been wanting more and more attention these days, and have been quite clingy, despite our encouragements to be more independent. We’re quite contradictory, aren’t we? We want you to play on your own, yet we want to smother you with hugs and kisses all the time too.

Daddy always reminds me not to hover so much around you, so that you can learn and experience things for yourself, and I try, I really do. It’s tough not to sweep you up into my arms whenever you fall, but I’ve seen how much you’ve grown through all those falls, and boy, do you fall a LOT. Daddy says you get your clumsiness from me, and unfortunately, I think it’s true. Now, when you fall, you pick yourself up, dust your hands off, and continue running again. Much better than whining or crying, and we are so proud of you for learning to be more ‘hardy’.

I’m also quite torn between letting you continue sleeping on our bed with us, and getting you to sleep in your own cot again. When we were in Adelaide, I kept telling myself that once we got back to Singapore, I’ll put you back in your cot at night, because I’m tired of getting kicked in the face/back every night. Well, it’s been more than three weeks, and you’re still co-sleeping with us! I tried putting you in your cot once, and you woke up shortly after, begging to come back to our bed, so we relented. Plus, we still haven’t gotten round to lowering your cot, and it just isn’t safe to put you in there at the moment, as we are afraid that you will fall out of it.

I’ve been feeling very emotional recently, as I nurse you, because I know that my supply is extremely low now, and I will have to stop breastfeeding you soon. I still nurse you to sleep, even for your naps, and goodness knows how I’m going to get you to sleep next time, when nursing you is no longer an option. I’m really going to miss nursing you, and looking at your adorable little face as you slowly fall asleep while you drink. I love holding you in my arms, and cuddling you even after you’ve fallen asleep. I love how you ask me for milk, and how you always like to choose ‘this side’ and ‘the other side’ to be nursed from, and I especially love your happy chuckle when you know it’s time for milk.

I love that you are still so affectionate, always giving me hugs, and allowing me to smother you with kisses. You’ve been declaring ‘Mummy… nice! Daddy… nice!’ randomly, and when you know you’ve been naughty, you are quick to say ‘love’, and to say ‘awwww’ when you hug us. It’s really tough to stay angry with you when you do that, but I make sure that you apologise for your mischief, before hugging and kissing you back. I’m not being mean: I’m doing it for your own good, and I hope you know that.

Ever since we’ve returned to Singapore, we seem to have established two special reading spots in our home, and I love how you eagerly bring me book after book, and snuggle up to me as I read to you. One day, you will learn to read on your own, and will no longer need me to read to you, but I hope that you will still want to snuggle together with me while we each read our own books.

Waiting to read with mummy on the bed 


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Snuggling and reading 


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You’ll be starting school next year, and I suspect that I’ll be the one with separation anxiety, instead of you. I’m going to miss being the one teaching you, and I hope we will still have plenty of time to read and play together, when you come home from school. I love being home with you, and watching you grow. I’m thankful that we get to spend so much time together, and it feels strange not having you with me when I leave you at home with daddy or grandma while I run errands sometimes. I see a cement mixer or truck pass by, and instinctively almost start to point it out to you, before remembering that you’re not next to me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice not to have to repeat ‘no, don’t touch that’ umpteen times when I step into a shop, but I’m always glad to come home to you. I love how your face lights up when you see me at the door, and how you run to me to give me a big hug, as though I’ve been away for ages.

As cliche as it sounds, you are a huge part of me, and I can’t don’t want to remember what it was like, before you came along. I love you so very much, sweetheart, more than you can ever imagine, and I pray that you’ll always be sure of our love for you.

With all my love, Mummy

*******

PS. I’ve been shortlisted as one of the ten finalists in this year’s Singapore Blog Awards, and would really appreciate it if you could take some time to vote for me at the Singapore Blog Awards website. You can vote once daily, until 3pm on 31st July 2014. Thanks!

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