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With All My Love… #13

Dearest Noah,

Today, you’ll be going to school for the very first time, and I honestly don’t know how to feel about it. How is it possible that you’re old enough for school already, when I still think of you as my baby boy? I don’t think I’m ready for this, and my body seems to be protesting too, because I suddenly came down with a fever, sore throat, and plenty of phlegm yesterday evening. I’m told that it’s usually the child who falls ill, not the parent, and I honestly didn’t think that you going to school would affect me so badly, but I guess it does. 

Daddy and I have been worried that you’ll be bullied in school, because you don’t seem to know how to “defend” yourself, and always end up having your things snatched away from you. Daddy has been teaching you to say, “No! It’s mine!” and “No! Don’t disturb me!” while role-playing a bully trying to take your toy away from you or tickling you (though I highly doubt that a bully would tickle you). You haven’t quite gotten the hang of it yet, and just a few days ago, I had to step in when an older boy tried to snatch the library book that you were holding. I felt like a bully then, holding on to the book, and telling him no, but I wanted you to see that you’ve got to be firm, and not be a doormat like me.

I’ve just started bringing you to Sunday School, but I’ve been sitting in with you through the entire session, so you haven’t really experienced what it’s like to be in a class without mummy yet. You run around a lot, refuse to sit down, and look for things to play with. I really hope that you won’t behave like that in school! I used to teach in a secondary school (yes, I used to have a different life before you came along), and I would definitely go crazy if I had students running around the classroom. I have the utmost respect for preschool teachers, who deal with so many little children at the same time. I know I won’t be able to do it!

We bumped into your classmate yesterday, and it made me smile to see you approaching her, asking her, “You want (to) play?”, and sharing your beloved McQueen with her. I hope you’ll be able to make plenty of new friends in school, and look forward to going to school daily, so that you can play with all of them.

You’re supposed to have lunch in school daily, and this is something that I’m worried about too. At home, I have to feed you, and keep you entertained with videos, books, and toys, just to get you to eat. Plus, you spit out whatever you don’t like eating, which, by the way, is almost everything. Meal-times take about an hour on average, so I have absolutely no idea how lunch in school is going to go for you. I’m sure the teachers will know how to handle fussy eaters like you, since they probably have more experience with kids than I do. I’ve also heard that peer pressure should help, so fingers crossed, you’ll learn to finish your food quickly, and eat everything you’re given.

Although I seem to be the one with separation anxiety at the moment, I know that I’ll enjoy having three hours of me-time daily, which is something that I haven’t had since you were born. It’ll feel odd at first, doing things without you by my side, but I’m already relishing the thought of having lunch with my friends, and not having to feed you at the same time. I’ll miss you, of course, but it’ll be time for me to pick you up before I know it, and I suspect I’ll harbour thoughts of sending you to school for longer hours soon.

I love you very, very much, baby boy, and I trust that God will watch over you as you embark on this new phase in your life, because I know that as much as I love you, He loves you even more.

Have a wonderful first day in school, my darling boy, and I promise I’ll try my best not to cry.

With all my love,


Our little family, on the last day of 2014


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