Jun 6, 20164 min read

To Our Dearest Twins… #1

My dearest twins,

This is my first official letter to you on this blog, even though I’ve been meaning to write to you for some time already. Your Korkor has just started his school holidays, and I’ve been really busy trying to keep him entertained! I hope you don’t think that we love you any less than we love your Korkor, because we love all three of you very very much, even though you’re still in my womb. It’s just that Mummy has to give Korkor more attention at the moment, because I know that I’ll be spending a lot more time with the two of you after you’re born.

We just hit the 28-week mark last Friday, and apparently Mummy has been counting the weeks wrongly, because the doctor told me that it’s every Friday, not every Monday, like what I previously thought. Oops. So we are at 28w3d now, not 28w. We’ve been praying for the both of you to make it to the 37th week, ie 5th Aug, but Dr Loh told us that chances are, you’ll be out by 35/36 weeks, and that if you aren’t out by 5th Aug, he will have to get you out via c-section. Didi is still breeched, which means a c-sec, unless you decide to turn, so please turn! Meimei is in the traverse position, but Dr Loh said it doesn’t matter, since Didi is the one who will come out first, if it’s a normal delivery.

Right now, however, how you are born is the least of our worries, because we just want both of you to be safe and healthy. At last Friday’s scan, Dr Loh noticed that Meimei doesn’t seem to be growing very well, and even said that you might be sick. You cannot imagine how sad and scared Daddy and Mummy are. It’s been a really tough journey to conceive the two of you, and the thought of something being wrong with you is just too much for us to bear. Dr Loh has scheduled us for another check-up in two weeks instead of three, just to check on Meimei’s progress, and told Mummy to eat more, especially durians, to try and get your weight up.

Meimei, you’ve only gained 300g in four weeks, as compared to Didi, who has gained 600g (twice as much) in the same amount of time. It’s really worrying, since at the 20 week scan, you were the larger of the two. You each have your own placentas, so the discrepancy cannot be explained by you having to share nutrients with Didi, because you don’t. Dr Loh checked your fluid levels, then did a Doppler scan to check on the flow from the placenta to you, via your umbilical cord, and said that everything looked fine, which means it’s a mystery as to why you’re not gaining much weight. The same thing happened with Korkor previously, but it only happened when he was at 36-38 weeks, and it was safe for him to be born by then. But you, Meimei, you’re not. You’re still so tiny, and it breaks my heart to even imagine having to deliver both of you before you’re ready.

Mummy has been trying my best to drink more milk, and to eat more protein such as beef. I’ve also been eating durians for three days in a row now, and I really pray that you’ll be able to absorb more nutrients. Every night, all three of us, including Korkor, pray for the two of you to grow well in mummy’s womb, and Korkor especially has been asking God to help you grow, so that you “don’t have to be wrapped up in the hospital”. You see, Korkor was previously very eager to meet both of you, and kept asking Mummy if you could come out earlier. I showed him some photos of premature babies in the hospital, to explain to him that you needed to stay in till you’re big enough to be born, and the image of the little babies being wrapped up in plastic to keep them warm has stuck with him. Since then, he’s been asking God to let both of you grow inside my womb, so that you won’t be wrapped up in plastic like those babies.

I love feeling the two of you moving around inside my womb, even when you decide to kick me through the night, because all the partying inside reassures me. My back aches, and I have to pee frequently at night, but it’s okay, as long as you are safe and healthy. Some mums-to-be say that they can’t wait for their babies to be born by the time they get to the third trimester, but I’m in no hurry at all, because it’s been such a joy and privilege to be pregnant.

There’s so much to be done before the two of you are born. We haven’t even agreed on names for both of you! Mummy also wants to do a maternity photoshoot, because we didn’t do one with Korkor, and I really regret not having any photos from that pregnancy. Since you’re most likely our last pregnancy, I thought it would be nice if we could have some photos taken of this special phase in our lives. I’ve been taking weekly bumpfies recently, but it’s not quite the same, is it?

Babies, please grow more. Daddy and Mummy are really worried about the two of you, especially after Mummy had some Braxton-Hicks contractions recently, and even more so after we found out that Meimei hasn’t been putting on much weight. We love you both so very much, and we need you both to stay inside until you get to full-term, and are of good weights. Please get to at least 2kg before you decide to come out to see the world, okay? All we ask, is for the two of you to be normal, healthy, happy, and safe.

Be good, and grow a lot more, okay? We love you so very much, and cannot imagine having either or both of you in the NICU.

With all my love, Mummy

Didi at 28 Weeks